The Carb Conundrum featuring Guilt & Co
I aim to inspire people to embrace a lifestyle change that makes them happy and healthy. However, I know I'll never be able to do that without being completely transparent with you. I don't want you to ever think that this is a seamless journey that comes easy and doesn't have a few wrinkles embedded in it. So here we go...my worst 10 days of training for the Kelowna Classic:
The Carb Conundrum
Stupid things I've done during the last 10 days:
-Swiped my key fob for my condo repeatedly on the gym scanner wondering why the turnstile wouldn't let me in. Note to self condo fob is not a universal magical swiping device to grant entrance to all the places.
-Moisturized myself at the gym with a bottle of hotel conditioner not understanding why I was somewhat lathering over absorbing.
-Didn't understand why the sink wasn't registering my hands underneath it when it worked for the person in front of me... Turns out ...It was not an automatic sink and it had a lever.
-Tore apart my house frantically looking for my keys. It just made no sense as I had just walked in to grab one thing I had forgotten..how could they go missing so quickly? Keys were in the door.
Welcome to my carb cycling brain. It all started with a 5 day carb load filled with pizza and pasta. Now I'm on a rotation of 3 days very low carb and 1 day high carb. That one day is no longer filled with pizza/pasta, but plenty of brown rice. Generally this method is really effective for fat loss-especially in those tough places for women like the lower abs and beneath the glute. Now 25 days away from the Kelowna Classic every fine detail is being monitored to ensure I'm stage ready.
It wasn't just the diet that generated my now growing list of hilariously silly conundrums. I had a rough week last week. Essentially the worst week since I started my training. The training didn't suffer and the diet didn't waiver. It was more a mix of an emotional rollercoaster and exhaustion.
My family lives about 4200 kilometres away in Ontario. My Mom and Sister were coming for a visit. They were forewarned that even though they were visiting my lifestyle had to take priority. This is why I tell people often I'm selfish...and I know it. People always so no don't say that about yourself. I don't technically look at this selfishness as a bad thing. I take time for myself and fill it with something productive and it fulfills me. Ultimately it makes me a better person mentally. However...
Guilt & Co
This past week was a revelation week for me. If you feel like you're succeeding so much in a certain areas you are probably failing in others. You can't be everything for everybody. When it comes to training it is my highest priority right now...especially being so close to the goal. It takes up a lot of time and energy. It is all day every day. I need good sleep...I now eat 7...yes I said SEVEN meals a day...Cardio is 40 mins 5 times per week and weight training already soaks up a few hours. I refuse to fail in that endeavour. But lets not forget I have a full time job. One that I love and adore no less. So that can't suffer either. Not only does it pay the bills, but when you do something that you love you hold your work to the highest standard. So there are 2 solid commitments in my life. Which means something has got to give...and unfortunately that something lands at the hands of my friends and family.
My husband we will get to in a second, but first let me explain with my family that was visiting from out of town.
My family time is so limited now living so far away and it pained me to leave them during key moments to get my training in.
I decided to take them to Vancouver Island to experience Tofino. It is literally my favourite place in the world and I highly recommend that you place it on your bucket list immediately. We had booked a lovely rainforest cottage at Long Beach Lodge. I was so excited as nature always rejuvenates me...and I needed a boost. Plus we had our own private hot tub...yay for muscle soreness!
As soon as we arrived they wanted to go walk the stunning and expansive Cox Bay Beach. I wanted to see their faces when they saw it. You know that wonderful joy you get when watching someone experience something you love so much for the first time. But I couldn't. Naturally since traveling I was due for another meal and then had to hit their gym or else it would be so late by the time we could all go to dinner. So I had to make choices. Guilt. That is what I felt. They were so good about it, but in that moment I was recognizing that I was placing my training over my family.
On top of that was the exhaustion. My husband had left for Mancation for a week in Cabo. Throughout the week it become exceptionally clear how much that man does for me. The support he has provided through this journey is unreal. As the week went on I realized just how much he has helped raise me up, get things done and live out this lifestyle. During his absence our poor dog Stella was upset that he left and got a case of the runs...which led to other complications no one needs to read about in descriptive verbiage. So I was up all night with her every 2 hours for 4 days. (Don't worry I wasn't neglecting a complicated doggy issue to avoid a vet bill. We knew what the problem was and lets just say we just needed to tweak her diet for a bit to firm up the situation. Sidenote: plain rice and canned pumpkin= puppy miracle)
Sleep is so very important to training. Especially because to spend time maximum time with my family I had to get up at the crack of dawn to get it in. So I was lacking sleep, getting my training in and during the entire visit just felt terribly guilty that I wasn't giving all of myself to the visit.
I'm understanding more and more why many say that fitness competitions are such a huge mental competition. Dedication and commitment. Two words we throw around in adorable little quotes on Instagram. Well...there is a reason why I tell people I admire their dedication OR what an amazing commitment. Those words are heavy weights. It is not easy some days to be dedicated and committed to the goal...yet the only way to get the goal is to be dedicated and committed.
For the record my family had a lovely visit and they saw the magic in Tofino that I hoped they would. That's saying something as the one day they really really experienced why we get the nickname 'the wet coast'.
When they left my husband returned. A little something about me...I LOATHE crying in front of people. I've had a few rocky moments in my life and even within tragic loss I generally have a rule of thumb-shove the tears away and shed them on my own time...in PRIVATE. Yet my swolemate got back from vacation and I cried. Maybe it was the whole low carb thing playing on my emotions...but on top of that it was the revelation I had while he was away. I truly recognized the support system he was providing. The help with the meals, the emotional support...everything.
So to everyone who has helped me along this journey so far...whether it be a message of encouragement...checking in how its going...reading my bloggy ramblings. Thank you. I so appreciate you being a part of my journey.